Timofey Mozgov (6 points, 4 rebounds/game) Got More Guaranteed Money Than Basically Every NFL QB

 

 

Mozgod! What a beast! Fresh off his 6 point, 4 rebound season, the 29 year old who couldn’t smell the floor during the playoffs signed a 5 year, 65 million dollar deal with the Lakers. That sound you just heard was every NFL running back killing himself. Man, being a 7 footer must be so freaking sweet. Play terrible, be 7’1 and unable to grab a rebound, get rewarded with 65 million guaranteed dollars. Don’t hate the playa, hate the game. That’s just the market, baby. It’s why Kwame Brown stuck around the league for a decade. If you’re 7 feet tall, someone wants you and will pay you handsomely. What’s sick is every single quarterback, the most important position in all of sports, gets less guaranteed money than fucking Timofey Mozgov. Andrew Luck has 87 million, but his guaranteed at signing was only 44. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but what it means to me is Timofey Mozgov is living the fucking life. The life!

Not to be outdone, Kent Bazemore says hello.

I knew I should have been an NBA player instead of a blogger. Such an idiot, Nate. Such an idiot.